So, my new suit proved to be a hit last night. Who knew that black bow ties were so in fashion. certainly not me when I committed the fashion crime of putting black bow tie with blue suit. Sinful, I know. The collar of the suit had black trim, surely that makes it less of a faux pas? Anyway, I digress. The point I’m making is that I attended a party as a male, successfully, for the first time. Hooray for me! There were a small number of guests who I’d class as close friends, a couple of acquaintances, and a large number of strangers. Since most people who know me, know I wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress, the judging was kept to a minimum. I think this is probably the best environment for me, personally, to have gone out in. It was safe, alcohol free thanks to the children attending and a big enough room to comfortably escape to a corner if anyone did take issue with me. Passing for male with strangers is always a morale booster isn’t it?
I’ve mentioned before the hassle that trans men and women can receive while ‘out’ out of doors. Unfortunately, that is something we must all be prepared for. Some people just have issues with us, that are no fault of ours, but there is nothing we can do about those people. It’s the same as the issue that scantily clad women have on nights out. There’s always a guy, and it is always a guy, that says: “Wearing that, she’s just asking to be raped,” or worse “It’s not rape because she obviously wanted it, dressed like a tart.” It’s horrible, but it’s an opinion shared by many people. Choose your place carefully my friends. It’s one thing to have to put up with these sorts of comments in a nice place, but if you go somewhere you’re likely to hear it, you’re going to hear it. Simples. People like that tend to be quite vocal at best (at worst, violent and volatile), so if this upsets you or gets to you, don’t go there. That really is asking for it. It’s not that you should feel barred from certain places, rather that you should exercise reasonable caution and not go some place where you will be targeted. So dark alleys and bigoted spouters to be avoided wherever possible, get me?
On a lighter, but no less advisory note, the clear-out prompted by the new suit has also prompted a wardrobe clearance. Most of my old emo and feminine clothes no longer fit me which means that, woopdeedoo, I need new clothes. A note to any trans people: Don’t go for a full range of designer brands of opposite gender clothes until you’re firmly settled into your new gender role. It’s not just expensive, but also, you don’t know what the fashion will be by the time your transition begins and concludes, when you reach a point of physical alteration you’re happy with. You may find you change size, shape or preference for clothing fit by the time you have (or don’t have) breasts or a penis and testicles. By all means go for ‘trendy’ fashion shops, but look for everyday price clothes, and a few nice outfits for going out. But really, everyone needs that one outfit that just kicks the pants off every other possible combination of clothing you own. Spend on that, and bring it out when you need to feel that much more awesome. And as we all know, when you feel good, more often than not, it translates across into how you appear to others too. Feel good, look confident=lookin’ good.* It’s not coincidence that the celebrities we love all look great when they’re dressed well, but get photograph horribly when wearing something unflattering or downright criminal. *coughladygagameatdresscough*
Three damnably sharp dressed guys, how coincidental… or is it?
So, tonight’s ramble over. I do hope it was amusing. Happy Monday tomorrow my friends.
Zak x
*cannot be guaranteed in the case of ugly people like me, but it certainly can’t hurt our chances.
Zak Elkins 